I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
