He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
