I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Fuck appropriateness.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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