At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
