Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
