Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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