Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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