theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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