dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
