Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
