Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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