I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
