its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
