it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize