So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
