I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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