we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
