I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
