i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize