Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
