So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh god it's open bar.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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