The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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