It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
