Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
