You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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