He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
