Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
