I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
