Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
