i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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