O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
