Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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