It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize