it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
