yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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