i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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