I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
