you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize