are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
