please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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