Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
