I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize