I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
