Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We are two peas in an std pod
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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