I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
