if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
