My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize