When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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