that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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