dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
