What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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