hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize