i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
