Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
