About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
