he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
