Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh god it's open bar.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
